I Want You Dirty All Over The Place!
by Abraxas Qlippoth
Summary: A dirty online/chat conversation between Sam and Bumblebee. With the boy away at college and the bot stuck inside of the garage it seems it's the best way to keep their relationship going through the boredom. But just what turns Sam on?


Disclaimer: I do not own Transformers, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

**"I Want You Dirty All Over The Place!"** by **Abraxas** 2009-08-23

It was yet another evening wasted alone.

Sam was exhausted and it had been only a month. He remembered with a frown, as if it were the vagaries of dream, how exciting it was to start college like a normal, everyday teenager. Now, with reality crushing his spirit, he understood why being normal and everyday also meant being bored to death!

Professors. Lectures. Assignments. God, what a drain!

He sat and emptied a sack across the table. A bottle of NoDoze rolled onto the floor as if wanting to suicide itself. He organized his notes - filled with doodles of Camaros and Bumblebees - and stuffed those pages into folders. He stacked his books onto a pile and stared at the tower it formed.

He would have rather faced Megatron than look at a book.

"What did I get myself into?" he wondered aloud.

Sam thought about Bumblebee and how sad it was to leave the autobot behind - that, perhaps, made the disappointment so bitter.

With his head in his hands he sighed while the sound of party echoed through the floors of the dorm.

"_It's Friday_?" he asked with a gasp as he flipped through the pages of a calendar. "It's Friday!" he shouted realizing the pit of despair was, indeed, bottomless.

Resigned to boredom he turned toward the computer and logged onto the Net.

The mailbox was full of spam, again, Viagra and various tool-enlargement ads. There were a few emails asking about his unsold ebay items. The emails were odd - he made of note to talk to Optimus Prime about it - it just reeked of Decepticon.

And then, as he was about to shut off the computer, there came a pop-up window with a sound.

"Beeotch666 wants to add you as a Buddy," it said.

Sam paused. _Beeotch666_? _What a strange strange nick_, he thought. He was going to click 'ignore' when it clicked inside of his head.

"_Bee_-otch! No way," he laughed, shifting back and forth, excited all of a sudden. "Can it be?"

Sam clicked 'accept' and an IM window opened.

ladiesman217: "Bee? Is that you. Bee?"

beeotch666: "_ladies_man?"

Sam LOL'ed.

ladiesman217: "Yeah...well...maybe it should be boybotlvr? ;)"

beeotch666: "Hm, I like it! ;)"

ladiesman217: "Is that you, Bee?"

beeotch666: "Yes, it is me, Sam."

ladiesman217: "F'ing COOL! How are you doing it? Are you plugged into the 'net?"

beeotch666: "I get direct internet access through my ComPort."

ladiesman217 changed nick to boybotlvr

beeotch666: "he he he :D"

boybotlvr: "COOL!"

beeotch666: "I can chat with you. I only just discovered IM today. Optimus Prime said it was a good idea to be in communication but that I should be careful."

boybotlvr: "Yeah, lots and lots of strangers and I think Decepticons too...but it's so cool! :D"

Sam did not say it but he thought it: he loved his car.

boybotlvr: "Oh, Bee, I miss you so much! :("

beeotch666: "I miss you too, Sam, it's so lonely in that garage without you."

boybotlvr: "Oh, Bee :'( I hate it when you feel bad...I wish I was there to drive you around."

beeotch666: "he he he! I miss being driven by you. You're so sweet the way you hold onto my wheel and make that vroom like you're racing. Nobody does that but you..."

Sam blushed.

boybotlvr: "OMG, I love the way your engine revs when I step on the gas. I miss the sound of it, too, and the feel of it. I swear I can feel your engine while I'm sitting behind your wheel."

beeotch666: "Does it excite you when you feel my engine?"

boybotlvr: "Yes, Bee, very very much. :)"

beeotch666: "Hm, I love it when you talk about my engine! :D Does it excite your engine, Sam?"

The boy giggled - and let off a snort.

boybotlvr: "Yes! You excite my engine a lot, Bee!"

beeotch666: "he he he! You excite my engine a lot, too, Sam. All of the time. Oh, I miss you washing me, too. Your parents make me go to a cheap carwash and I don't like those strangers rubbing me. I want my special boy bot lover washing me. Everywhere. Making me shine. I want to be pretty and new for you, Sam."

boybotlvr: "Awe, Bee! :D My sweet sweet Camaro!"

Again Sam blushed. He could not believe it! Bumblebee, even with his voice fixed, liked to be silent and blurt snippets of songs through his radio. But that chatting brought out a whole other side of him. And he liked it! He liked it a lot!

boybotlvr: "You have such beautiful armor, Bee, I love it when it shines like new. That yellow! Those long racing stripes! The boy who washes you needs to appreciate it."

beeotch666: "Sam! I'm so lonely. Sometimes I drive around and around and I see boys with their cars...and I get so sad... :("

Sam wiped his eyes with the back of his sleeve.

boybotlvr: "You're making me tear up. :( I don't like leaving you. Why don't you drive up and see me? We can go places. Quiet places..."

beeotch666: "That would be awesome! Oh, Sam, you make my engine vroom! :kisses:"

Sam smiled giddy - Bumblebee just kissed him - it was so awesome!

A new window opened: "Beeotch666 wants to cam," it announced.

Sam could not control his giggle - gods, if anyone walked into the room it was going to be so damn awkward!

"What are you going to show me, Bee?" he asked under his breath.

He clicked 'yes' and yet another IM window opened.

Sam blinked - it took a moment to realize what it was and then he laughed.

beeotch666: "Like what you see?"

boybotlvr: "LOL It's gorgeous, Bee, what a sweet looking engine! It makes me want to drive you everywhere! :D"

The image appeared to shake.

beeotch666: "You make it rev when you say that, Sam, you make it so so happy :) Can you see it rev for you?"

Sam was revving too - there was a bulge forming and expanding between his legs.

boybotlvr: "Yes, I can see it, Bee, it's so awesome! I bet it feels hot. I feel hot..."

beeotch666: "Really? Do you want to touch it?"

boybotlvr: "Yes, I want to run my fingers along your hoses."

beeotch666: "I love it when boys play with my engine. I only let boys play with my engine, especially, a very very sweet boy I know."

boybotlvr: "Oh, Bee, you're sweet like honey to me. I so want you right now it's killing me."

Sam's penis was now out of his shorts. He aimed his webcam toward it and invited Bumblebee (beeotch666) to watch. He was stroking it when his friend accepted the invite.

beeotch666: "Oh, Saaaam!"

Smoke was coming out of Bumblebee's engine - and it fogged the webcam. Sam could not stop giggling and wishing to be there. To hold his autobot. And to feel it revving.

beeotch666: "I want to smear you with my oil! I want to shove you into my vent! I want to be dirty with your special juices..."

boybotlvr: "I want to drive you, Bee, I can't contain my excitement anymore."

beeotch666: "I'll be right there! Oh, Sam, you make me feel like a such a bot! I want to shot my oil all over you! oh, oh..."

boybotlvr: "he he he! Shoot your oil for me, Bee, shoot it and make me dirty everywhere!"

beeotch666: "Oh my Primus!"

The webcam showed oil squirting onto the inside of the hood.

Sam stroked his shaft vigorously watching Bumblebee make such a mess and in a second he, too, exploded all over the keyboard.

boybotlvr: "Come over fast - please - there's so much more where that came from!"

beeotch666: "I'll be there - don't clean up! - I want you dirty all over the place :D :hugs n kisses: c ya in a bit!"

:sign off:

**END**


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